Every day is the same.
At times it's monotonous, but it's all I have to hold onto. Each day I'm collecting bricks and carefully building this wall to hold myself up. There are moments, when I'm drenched in sweat and moments away from collapsing in exhaustion, when I look out over the edge and think how easy it would be to stumble and fall. How easy it would be to carelessly place my foot at a certain angle and fall. Fall so hard and so deep... because that would be a lot easier than having to build this wall to keep myself up. Then I snap out of it. If I keep working hard at this back-breaking agonizing work, it will be worth it in the end. I would be better in the end. Going through this struggle and strife will make me stronger. This is what I repeat to myself as I slap on another row of bricks to the drying cement. And so I pick up another brick and keep building.
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January 2022
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