NOTE: This series chronicles the wishes Tina writes in the Wish Journal she received from her aunt when she turned 13. To better understand Tina's character, be sure to read her other wishes in chronological order. Tina hung up the phone and felt like she lost control of her limbs; they seemed extraordinarily heavy. She sunk to the floor of the kitchen, the news still echoed in her ears: Aunt Gemma's cancer is back. It had escalated quickly, according to her mother. Hospice said Aunt Gemma had a month at best, a few days at worst. Tina had been home so often this past year due to her aunt's health, that just by glancing at the clock on the microwave she knew that the next bus for home left at 10 P.M. Five hours from now. The only thing Tina could do right now was sit and wait. Waiting was the worst. Tears filled her eyes at the thought of not being there when Aunt Gemma decided to pass. Her aunt was the most wonderful, generous, and gracious person Tina knew. Ruby, Tina's awkward roommate, sat watching The Wheel of Fortune while eating a bowl of soup, oblivious to what had just happened. Not wanting to cause a scene, Tina crept into her bedroom. Fresh laundry sat in a basket on her bed--that was what she was doing before she got The Call. With the time Tina had, she decided to pack herself a bag and contact her professor's and her boss at the diner to let them know she'd be out of class for at least a week. Then she would give a heads up to her friends for their lecture notes. There was so much to do. Tina reached for the dark blue gym bad that she used when she took trips home. She couldn't remember the last time she had put it back in the closet. Every time she'd emptied it, it seemed like she was packing it again. It sat next to her dresser and she snatched it up, only to find the Wish Journal tucked away beneath it. It always seemed to find her when she needed it the most. Fresh tears filled her eyes when she thought: That's just like Aunt Gemma, to always be there when I need her. Wish #11: I wish for Aunt Gemma to get better. I wish for what seems like the impossible: to reverse death. Aunt Gemma won't be here this time next month; what a horrible, sobering thought! Aunt Gemma is always there... was always there. Always. She was there when Dad died. During my crazy teenage years. She always made me feel like she knew who I was to become and cheered me on until I figured out how amazing I could be. I'm not there yet; I still need her.
I wish Aunt Gemma didn't have to die. I wish the cancer didn't come back. I wish there was a cure. I wish I couldn't feel the pain. I wish Aunt Gemma wouldn't feel the pain.
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NOTE: This series chronicles the wishes Tina writes in the Wish Journal she received from her aunt when she turned 13. To better understand Tina's character, be sure to read her other wishes in chronological order. Tina returned from class exhausted. Throwing her keys down on the closest surface, she blew stray hairs from her face as she slipped off her shoes. A quick glance at the clock told her that she only had an hour to change, eat, possibly start on an essay due by the end of the week, before heading to work. As she grabbed a granola bar from the cabinet in the apartment's small kitchen, she groaned at the mess on the counter. Of course her roommate "cleaned up" by littering the kitchen with old cereal bowls whose spoons were stuck inside, and coffee-stained mugs that she never set to soak in her sink. And it's great that she did laundry, but Tina nearly tripped over the baskets of winkled clothes in the living room. Ugh! And that pizza box has been on the floor next to the couch for almost two weeks now! Feeling the tight grip of anxiety in her chest, Tina reached her room and closed the door with a sigh. She took a moment to close her eyes and release that uneasy feeling in her chest. When she adjusted, she opened her eyes to look at her own room: it wasn't the cleanest room, but it didn't contain all the missing silverware and mountains of moldy food. Another sigh escaped her lips as she sat down on the edge of her unmade bed and searched the small bookshelf for a reference book in which she made notes in for the essay. That's when she came across the Wish Journal. Tina hadn't used it since the end of her freshman year. Without thinking about the essay or having to go to work, she picked up the nearest writing utensil--a chewed up Mickey Mouse pencil--and opened up the old book. Wish #10: I wish I got along with my roommate. I wish I could see the floor of the living room. I wish I didn't feel so clausterphobic when I want to watch TV and find myself sitting between piles of clothes, books, and dirty dishes. I wish I could take a shower without getting grossed out by an old bandage, or hair on the walls, or scum that only I clean when I'm not working or studying.
I wish I didn't get frustrated so easily. I wish I wasn't a hypocrite when it came to cleanliness. I just wish Ruby would clean up her messes. I wish Ruby was aware and understood the respect that comes from keeping our shared spaces clean. I wish I could communicate better. NOTE: This series chronicles the wishes Tina writes in the Wish Journal she received from her aunt when she turned 13. To better understand Tina's character, be sure to read her other wishes in chronological order. Deep in the library of the University of Idaho, Tina gulped down her fifth refill of coffee that day. She had even rented a study room to get down to business. Moonlight drifted through the window that overlooked the quad. Her evening study group had just left and Tina felt overwhelmed: No matter how much she fought for a passing grade in physics, it never came. She uneasily sat in a sea of highlighted notebooks, color-coded sticky notes, index cards, math equations, and her laptop opened to a practice test that flashed a score of 69%--so close! Tina bit her bottom lip as she took in the scene, and her legs jiggled in caffeine-fueled nervousness beneath the table. Deflated, Tina grabbed for her black faux leather planner Aunt Gemma gifted her in order to see if she could fit in another study session between a nap and the physics final exam. Tina's shoulders sunk. Of course it was just like her to accidentally grab that wish journal instead of her planner. This mistake would cost her either precious sleep or study time. She only stayed mad at herself for a few moments. Deciding to make the best of it--and yearning for a study break--she opened the leather pages of the wish journal, desperate for any additional help she could get. Wish #9: To pass physics this semester I wish I would sit down in my physics seminar tomorrow (today?!) and automatically know the answer to every question. I wish that studying seemed to pay off. I wish I could just pass physics so I don't have to take it again.
I wish that I didn't feel so hopeless; that no matter how much I fight for a passing grade, it never, ever, EVER comes. I wish this hard work paid off, that these sleepless night and endless hours of studying gave me a passing grade. I wish I had the math and science gene I seem to lack. God. I just wish I was successful at something! NOTE: This series chronicles the wishes Tina writes in the Wish Journal she received from her aunt when she turned 13. To better understand Tina's character, be sure to read her other wishes in chronological order. Tina slammed the phone down frustrated at hearing the busy signal so many times. She needed to leave her dorm room in ten minutes to make it to her two o'clock class, but this was important! She hung up the phone once more and hit redial. Busy signal again! Tina sighed in frustration. Carly loved the band Runaway Sunshine and getting her tickets, let alone first row tickets, would be the best gift in the world! When the busy signal pulsated through her eardrums again, Carly tried once more as the song on the radio ended. "Congratulations, what's your name?" the DJ's unmistakeable deep voice vibrated through the radio on her speakers. Tina knew she didn't win. Of course, there would be another chance at nine o'clock, but not winning the 1:30 giveaway still dampened her spirits. Slamming the phone in its cradle, which made her always-sleepy roommate stir from beneath her covers on the top bunk bed, Tina sulked in the wooden desk chair. Not winning the tickets wouldn't be the end of the world, but Tina wanted to surprise Carly so badly. Wish #8: To win concert tickets for Carly Carly isn't happy that I'm not home a lot since I left for college. I wish she was happy more often when I called home. I want to be able to take her to see her favorite band. I wish Mom could afford the tickets. I was I could afford the tickets.
I wish I could be the great big sister and swoop in and save the day and give her a smile. I wish Carly would be happy... tickets or no concert tickets. |
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January 2022
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